Running to Belong

We are all in the process of growing and evolving. We all have our edgework. Sometimes, we choose our challenge, and at other times change is forced upon us and we forced to grow. As I continue along my own pathway, I am inspired by others and their journeys of personal and professional growth.

This is excerpt of a story that my friend and co-runner recently shared about his experiences with Seattle Frontrunners. Leung Weiwen is an inspiration to many, and I am proud to share his story of edgework, perseverance, and generosity.

There are lessons here. Weiwen shares his at the end of his story. But there are lessons for all of us as well. Are we reaching out to others and learning their stories? Are we doing what we can to create a sense of belonging and inclusion within our various social groups?

During my time with the club, I’ve experienced joy, connection, and a greater sense of purpose. That hasn’t come without its share of difficulties, though! When I first ran with Seattle Frontrunners in January 2020, I had just moved to Seattle from Toronto. The biggest pain point for me was that I was constantly rejected from friend groups. I made the mistake of taking this personally and second guessing myself. Things got worse as the pandemic came and I was socially isolated in a new city. I had interesting chats but didn’t hang out with the people I met. I wondered whether there was anything wrong with me: Did I do anything wrong when interacting with people? Did I need to speak or act in a certain way?

Thankfully, around July 2020, Frontrunners began to organize Sunday long runs (10 to 20 miles). Because the Sunday long runs were the only options for running with other people in person, I began training myself to run longer and longer distances, and by August I was doing 14-mile runs. The runs brought me to so many new areas and parks. I admired Seattle’s natural beauty and made many new acquaintances along the way.

However, when the official Saturday runs came back, I made two mistakes: I didn’t replace my worn-out running shoes when I should have, and I ran over 10 miles on both Saturday and Sunday. Thus, in December 2020, I got an IT band and Achilles injury that plagued me for more than half a year. I became much more socially isolated than before.

I restarted running around July 2021, and things started to change for the better. For some reason, people were now inviting me to parties and social gatherings. And for an equally unknown reason, people were also increasingly accepting my invitations: to pluck blackberries, to go to Wenatchee, to go to Gameworks, to see starfish at Alki Beach at low tide, and so on. I was (and still am) constantly rejected, but the sting hurt less as I began to take things less personally.

I had become increasingly proud of becoming a Frontrunner, and so volunteered to be the club’s team captain at Bellingham Bay Marathon, which saw over two dozen Frontrunners sign up. The Sunday long runs had inspired me to run the full marathon at Bellingham, something I thought I would never have done.

I left Seattle around three years after I moved there. I have lost count of how many pleasant memories I have had with the Seattle Frontrunners, from finishing my first full marathon to organizing Sunday long runs. But these pleasant memories will also give me moments of anguish whenever I look back at my decision to leave Seattle. For the whole of my adult life, I have not met a group of people that is as welcoming as the Seattle Frontrunners.

Top lessons I learned:

1.     Don’t take rejection personally. When people reject you, it’s usually about what they want, not about you.

2.     It is more blessed to give than to receive. Seeing happy people gave me more meaning than being happy myself.

3.     Talk to all kinds of people. You’ll never know what will come out of it. 

4.     Peer influence is powerful. Use it (or harness it) for good. Looking back, I can’t believe how rapidly I progressed from running 3 miles to running 14 miles (and then a full marathon.

5.     Listen to your body (and encourage others to do the same!). Listening to my body would have saved me a good deal of grief by preventing injury.

6.     You are a leader. Whether you are a Board member, pacer, or even just an ordinary member, you can change the club for the better.

7.     Push yourself. Completing a full marathon has inspired me to do many things outside of running.

8.     Be inclusive and let people into your life.